Do you think you know about this? You should.
There it is, that building people whisper about. Maybe the local church warns people about it. It'll have a name like, "Teaser's", "Cheaters", "Lido's"... or the like.
It's a Strip Club™, where women (more so than men) pull their clothes off and do other things which are - gasp! - immoral!
Well, I have news for you. It wouldn't be in business at all if there wasn't a need.
Yes, a need. A real one.
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I am married, decisively so, to a woman who had licenses to perform on stage in Florida and Las Vegas. She's spent more time on the pole... than you have talking to your spouse about what matters.
You know. Your spouse? The ONE, from whom you must keep no secrets, hide nothing, tell everything so that you, your spouse and your family may proceed through life with success? ... that's why I'm posting this.
Why can you not tell him or her what you want - to be satisfied? I suggest that it is cowardice - and that you have been TAUGHT to be cowardly.
Think about this. You were built by a process no less grand than the one that burns four million tons of matter a second just to bring you sunlight - and you can't tell someone you swore you love what you need from them?
Well, you can't - or, you are reluctant such that the process is painful somehow -- and so the Strip Club™ will appear to offer a solution.
So, My Girl™ has made a few observations about this that might do you a LOT of good.
Before I get into that, let me describe how the club operates in most cases.
It has an opening time and a closing time. Each performer or dancer who wishes to take the stage or make money from the patrons must rent their time indoors by the hour. They must pay the DJ to play the song(s) they dance to; these are selected by a look at the audience to maximize appeal, as the audience changes by the hour and the day of the week.
There will be a manager of the performers, since a club might have so many girls show up that there's not enough time for all of them to take the stage. There might be a "house mouse", someone who performs who is trusted by management to fix problems before they occur; yes, some of the dancers might abuse drugs and/or alcohol, and not perform well for the Club.
After performing, a dancer must pay a bouncer to escort her to the car / off the premises. This protects them and the club from people deranged by sexual urges or expectations gained from outside as well as inside the club. Most often, this is the law.
Tip: the offensive customer, if not physically broken by a bouncer who is typically very close friends with the girls, will be dusted with glitter. This will show someone at home where he has been, and there will be judgment.
OK, observations!
First: men are not women. That might be a surprise, especially if you believe the garbage "modern" social media spews. Not only are men aggressive beyond belief, sometimes at the house they are protective beyond belief: they won't even tell you they would be excited, and even feel more trusted by an aggressive sexual move that you initiate, because they exist to protect you.
You know that many men have a code of conduct that prohibits them from talking about problems.
You must express clearly that you desire them, by actions, not words - AND you must be aggressive in maintaining their health!
They won't show it, but when you show you want them, your spouse becomes more valuable to themselves and more capable. They can meet more challenges!
Thus, a conversation with a 1%-er, a goddess with an apparently infinite choice of companions, can be fundamentally reassuring: She might say, "Phil, I know *I* would want to know. You can tell her."*
If your guy is worth keeping, he can go to a club and not embarrass, much less betray you. This might be a good litmus test for you both. IF you have a real keeper, he will take you to the club and introduce you. Shocker!
Second: you are being held back by social pressure that doesn't give a damn about you. Religious restrictions have insisted that you have no experience of sex whatsoever until you are betrothed, ignoring the immense pressure society has come to bring as well as the urges themselves - built by the same deity the faithful pretend to obey. In fact, delaying instant gratification has immense rewards, but these are not taught by an increasingly unguided society, which has come to support bad decisions, even with tax money; those poor stupid people couldn't help but do what we told them not to do every hour or so, because we showed them something completely different: do what you want. Now.
Admire the athlete, baby-daddy to three kids with his girlfriend! Admire the single mother, such motherhood being the #1 indicator of criminality wherever it is found. Social pressure!
Here is Reasoning Deficit Disorder: we talk about commitment while doing everything to deny it.
Third: the girls at the club have vastly different reasons for being there. Some want easy access to sex, like a fair number of patrons. Notice I'm not pretending otherwise? It's actually the same at every bar in America: women go to bars for exactly the same reasons men do.
Others enjoy the control they have as they provide actual comfort - or services you didn't know about. The very real company of someone to talk to, who is also a beautiful person with relevant experience.
Can you name another venue from which you can obtain a professional date for a business meeting that won't be embarassing and won't bring baggage and opinions?
Yes, a business meeting. Where the presence of a beautiful woman actually means high status and capabilities.
Fourth: the club itself strips away pretenses. Everyone there knows that "being a good person" doesn't rank #1 in real life. Symmetry of form, healthy hair, clear skin and bright teeth mean the best outcome from seeking the company of someone you see. Nobody ever saw an "O My Gawd" beautiful woman or buff guy and thought, "I'd like to treat that equally!"
The wise will notice which of these is serious and honest about their work, knowing how to show that they, themselves know the difference between a disposable sexpot and a continuous companion.
People want comfort, honesty be damned; as they profess to hate the existence of The Strip Club™, they will eagerly reach for the issue of Cosmo that tells how to make your partner shiver. In Bible™ study, they'll stop the story of the adultress at "he who cast the first stone" rather than reach the end: "go, and sin no more".
Even though the word of Jesus should have stunned the adultress.
Get the point. Act with honesty. It applies to your private life, too. That Club is no threat at all to any person who has a clear view of themselves, their needs and their company, and you will find that it makes a wonderful example of something you can do together to improve communication. You are real, and you should be able to show that.
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* - here's the way a professional and friendly relationship appears at a "strip club":
Tom walks in. He gets a beer and a snack to sit back and watch the show. He's confident about himself, not a giggling teen or deluded beer-hound in a wife-beater. Several girls stop by to engage in conversation. This might be embarrassing - on purpose. The girls are trying to get him to loosen up. In an hour, the girls have figured out what he wants is not to be teased or even touched, at least not today; they have an idea who his favorite is already (no successful stripper misses a personal cue, and they watch each other with the guy). His favorite comes back, and Tom puts $$ on the table and/orders a snack as well as a drink for the dancer. He must show class to get continuous attention, and that is not just money.
A girl's income is strictly up to her at the strip club. She can make a thousand dollars a night - I am not kidding - if she is very good, and smart with the regulars and the occasional party guys; she'll have an arrangement with her favorite bouncer to step in if she needs him. She won't, with this guy Tom, and after a few minutes she signals to the bouncer he can chill. She's interested in this guy.
Tom tells her as much about his life and/or business as he wants. Being a good listener is ridiculously profitable because nobody else will do that, even at his home. Didja catch that?
Tom has a business. The entire time - and, believe it or not, some guys can get over an O-My-Gawd™ at arm's length wearing nearly nothing - Tom has been figuring out what this girl is worth.
As it turns out, quite a lot this time. Nobody has ever diminished themselves dancing at a strip club. If you think about this, you'll see that there are people behaving abominably in your own neighborhood.
After a few hours, Tom finds he can use this girl on his elbow exactly as was shown in "Pretty Woman". Yes, it is entirely possible she can quit her job to be his girl.
At no time is the venture more or less risky for Tom than his date for Homecoming ten years ago.
He goes home to think more about life. If she was smart, she sent him there.
He'll be back every time he finds no one will listen to him - and occasionally, to see how his favorite(s) is/are doing.
In the end, whether Tom finds a business or personal relationship with the dancer he favors, the choice is entirely his, in an environment where everyone knows what sex is, what it is for, and what it can and cannot do. Even if they forget now and then. It's powerful stuff.
Around him, carnival marks guffaw and goggle, unable to even process the idea that women actually look like that! They're not getting as far as Tom, who knows, in his heart, that in order to enjoy someone wonderful, you must be wonderful, yourself!
