Thursday, November 24, 2016

Humor: Scatological: Technical\Nerdy

It has come to our attention that certain persons capable of great focus are not conversant with some ordinary societal functions. This should immediately produce improvement in personal interaction at work when posted in the appropriate locations.

Operation of the Typical Flush Toilet

A Guide

The irregularly-shaped white object contained in this privacy booth or stall is a flush toilet. This dual-element, semi-interruptible toroid and its supporting equipment uses state-of-the-art gravitic principles to remove undesired human waste from occupied spaces, thus increasing their habitability and contributing positively to personal hygiene and public health.
When gastric processes increase physical demands upon your system and intrude upon your awareness, possibly distracting you from contemplation of the relative merits of saline vs. silicone in implant technology, it may be time to defecate. The flush toilet is designed to assist you. Thus, this guide.
After entering the stall, take a few moments to examine the sides of the stall for cellulose sheeting, provided on a spool in a dispenser. If the dispenser is empty or nearly so, sortie to find supplies locally or call for assistance from a capable co-worker, taking care to select one cognizant of the task itself with respect to the social strictures which may apply to your workgroup.
Observe the ergonomics of the flush toilet, and note that a seat has been provided to support your weight while the difficult task of purging waste matter is in progress. Observe also the provision of a receiving basin in the toroid, and a control for the admission of fresh water to said basin. Activate this control now to observe the release of potential energy, and the principle of operation of the toilet: matter introduced into the bowl will be entrained and conveyed to processing equipment by the conversion of potential to kinetic energy provided by the piping arrangement. The sequence will time out.
Close the door securely.
Recall the sequence of actions necessary to disrobe, and execute enough of the procedure to remove your current clothing configuration from the likely direction(s) of your personal waste stream.
Sit, facing the door of the stall, so that you may attain greater comfort utilizing the installed seat and be in position to defend your throne against intrusion. Important: more than one person may not use this equipment concurrently without exceeding its design bases.
Defecate. This sequence will also time out.
This process may take some time to reach equilibrium. While you are verifying that transfer success is likely, consider flushing the bowl immediately to reduce odor. Be warned that this measure may result in inadvertent immersion of the posterior, depending on the magnitude of energy release this equipment demonstrates and the flow capacity of effluent piping, in bowl contents; such risk is enhanced for persons whose dependent anatomical features are considered protuberant.
When relief is attained – signified by the cessation of waste flow and the commensurate desire to defecate – flush the bowl. This lowers the likelihood of inadvertent contact with the pathogenic fraction of bowl contents and the consequent propagation of bacteria, E. coli chief among them.
Use the wall dispenser to obtain several sheets of thin cellulose fiber. Place the sheets in your hand so as to enable the removal of incidental fecal matter which may cling to your body, and pass them over obvious and likely areas. Drop each soiled sheet into the bowl. Take care not to allow gross accumulation, which could prevent proper toilet operation in subsequent flushing. There is no penalty for precautionary flushing of the apparatus.
When visual inspection of cellulose sheeting indicates that apparent incidental fecal matter is removed, and flushing has carried away both waste and the attendant paperwork, stand and replace clothing removed for this activity, taking care to place it in a configuration suitable for public appearance.
Exit the stall.
Proceed to wash hands against the possibility of undetected incidental contact with waste in accordance with the instructions in, “Operation of the Typical Lavatory Sink – A Guide”.

Article ©RadwasteUSA - 2016