Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Ignored in "Trans" issues: Johns Hopkins Halted Gender Reassignment Surgeries Decades Ago

Until hormones are expressed in puberty, even experts cannot tell how you are built

 (This article is not fun or cute. You have been warned.)

The following is an excerpt of a Web page once found at http://www.jhu.edu/~jhumag/0900web/babes.html. I might reformat this, but not change it: 

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Into the Hands of Babes

By Melissa Hendricks

Illustration by Kim Barnes


Hopkins's William Reiner vividly remembers the child whose case made him rethink his approach to medicine.
"It was a little 7-year-old," says Reiner, "who just about tore everybody's guts out."
A urologist turned psychiatrist, Reiner had devoted his career to treating young patients born with irregular genitals. Some had ambiguous genitals--a scrotum along with a phallus that resembled a clitoris, for example. Others, though genetic males, had no penis or had an extremely rare condition called micropenis.
Physicians for several decades had recommended that children in this latter group be raised as girls--thinking based largely on pioneering work done in the 1950s and '60s at Hopkins, one of the few medical centers in the world that specialized in treating children with such disorders. Common practice in a case of a boy who lacked a penis or had a micropenis was to surgically remove the testes, construct female external genitals, and prescribe female hormones--then send the child home to be brought up as Sally or Susie. To do otherwise, it seemed, was to subject these babies to an unimaginably cruel childhood of locker room taunts and psychological pain, followed by a frustrating adulthood of sexual inadequacy.
Gender reassignment occurred in other cases too, depending on the diagnosis. But in all cases, the standard was to decide promptly whether the infant ought to be a boy or girl and then to be consistent in rearing the child as that gender (a process described in my story "Is It a Boy or a Girl?" in the November 1993 Johns Hopkins Magazine). 
Reiner had wholeheartedly subscribed to this model throughout the 1970s and '80s, first as a urology resident at Hopkins and then as a urologist in private practice in central California. But over the course of his career, he had become troubled by a dearth of information on the psychological and sexual outcome of children with urogenital conditions.
In 1992, he returned to Hopkins to train as a psychiatrist and to specialize in treating patients with urogenital disorders. He now directs Hopkins's Gender Identity and Psychosexual Disorders Clinic. Recently, he concluded the first phase of an outcomes study that included 36 genetic males who had been born with a complicated birth defect that included the lack of a penis. It was during the course of the study that Reiner met the 7-year-old I'll call Kayla.
Like most of the other children in the study, Kayla had been castrated and was being raised as a girl. But she was not a happy child. Small and aggressive, she had gotten into a number of fights with her classmates. Rather than the dolls her parents gave her, she played with cars and trucks, and she had insisted that her schoolmates call her by the biblical boy's name she had chosen for herself. Eventually she had refused to go to school altogether.
Reiner gave Kayla a battery of psychological tests and found that she came out overwhelmingly male on measurements of gender-typical behaviors and self-concept. He told Kayla's parents what he had observed. After some reflection, the parents decided that their child ought to know that she had been born a boy. They asked Reiner if he would tell her.
So the next day, Reiner explained to Kayla that she had been born a boy who had no penis, so her doctors and parents had decided to raise her as a girl.
"His eyes opened about as wide as eyes could open," recalls Reiner. "He climbed into my lap and wrapped his arms around me and stayed like that."
As Reiner cradled the child in his arms, he felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted, and he himself was overcome with emotion. The child remained in his arms without moving for half an hour.


Reiner: "The sense of who one is--[boy or girl]--is powerful and inborn."
Photo by Keith Weller.
Reiner now believes children are born either boys or girls, and that no matter what happens to them, be it surgery or rearing, they remain that way.
"When you work with these kids, you see that they're not making a decision," he says. "They have always known. The sense of who one is--[boy or girl]--is a crucial existential aspect of humanity. It is powerful and inborn." The absence or presence of a penis is incidental. "The most important sex organ is the brain."
Reiner now says that surgeons ought to hold off on surgically castrating patients like Kayla. Further, he suggests that the same cautious approach should perhaps apply to patients with other urogenital conditions. "One can draw inferences, but one has to do it with caution," he notes, given that having ambiguous genitals stems from myriad causes. "But if it's not life threatening, I would favor prudence." If a child has ambiguous genitals, he says, families and physicians might decide using the best medical information available whether to call them boys or girls, but wait for the child to decide whether to opt for genital surgery. 
In the past year, he has reported his findings at several medical meetings including the Lawson Wilkins Pediatric Endocrinology annual meeting, which was held in Boston this past May.
A number of other physicians and psychologists who have treated patients with ambiguous genitals and other urogenital conditions (now often referred to collectively as intersex disorders) say they, too, have changed their views. One of them is Philip Gruppuso, a pediatric endocrinologist at Brown University School of Medicine. "In the absence of definitive data [on outcome], the most compelling thing to do is the old, 'Do no harm,'" he says.

For babies with ambiguous genitals whose condition is not life-threatening, Reiner advises holding off on surgery and letting them decide later.
A group of urologists, endocrinologists, psychologists, and patient advocates has formed the North American Task Force on Intersex (NATFI) to review the standards of practice for the medical treatment of intersex children.
One patient advocate who is garnering an increasing amount of attention to the plight of intersexed patients is Cheryl Chase, a woman I first heard from after my 1993 article on patients with ambiguous genitals was published in this magazine. Chase had been born with ambiguous external genitals and a combination of male and female internal genitals called ovo-testes. As a child, she had undergone one surgery to remove her testicular tissue, and another to reduce the size of her clitoris, which she believed left her incapable of experiencing orgasm.
In trying to make a patient like herself conform to standards of normalcy, Chase contended, physicians sacrificed the patient's sexuality. "The constant invasion of the child's body is emotionally traumatizing, and the surgeries create scarring and destroy sensation," she wrote to me, back in February 1994. "In the absence of a painful or life-threatening condition, genital surgery must never be imposed on a person who cannot weigh the trade-off of erotic function and make his or her own decision."
Chase signed her letter as director of the Intersex Society of North America (ISNA), a patient support and advocacy group that she had founded. Since that time she has mobilized other intersexuals who were dissatisfied with the treatment they had been given as children, begun publishing a newsletter, and started a website. Recently, Chase and I exchanged emails and spoke by phone. "There's been tremendous movement since we last spoke," she said. She was encouraged that a number of physicians were advocating reform, and had been invited to speak at the pediatric endocrinology meeting in Boston. ISNA had helped reduce the shame and secrecy that has been the intersexual's lot, she said, but still had work to do.
However, the question of what is best for the intersex baby is a contentious one. Not everyone believes the model of care should change, and many specialists are reserving judgment. Even within Hopkins there is a range of opinions on what is most appropriate.

A recurring question in the discussion about the medical management of intersex children is how chromosomes, hormones, anatomy, neurons, family, and society blend together to determine gender.
Fifty years ago, in the flush of behaviorism, a young Hopkins psychologist named John Money proposed that nurture could take precedence over nature in the recipe for gender. The man who would go on to define the terms gender role and gender identity ran a clinic in which he counseled patients with a variety of intersexual conditions--he referred to them as hermaphrodites-- and he based his theory in part on psychological studies of those patients. In a paper published in the June 1955 Bulletin of the Johns Hopkins Hospital, Money concluded:
"Chromosomal, gonadal, hormonal, and assigned sex, each of them interlinked, have all come under review as indices which may be used to predict an hermaphroditic person's gender--his or her outlook, demeanor, and orientation. Of the four, assigned sex stands up as the best indicator."

Because so much has changed, clinicians who have built careers on treating intersexuals advise against judging past events through "year 2000 glasses."
In 1967, Money took on a case that would become a key test of this theory. It involved a pair of Canadian twin boys, Brian and Bruce Reimer, one of whom--Bruce--had lost his penis as a result of a botched circumcision when he was 8 months old. The distraught parents took Bruce to see Money, who recommended that the Reimers have Bruce castrated and raise him as a girl. The parents followed Money's advice. At almost 2 years old, Bruce underwent surgical castration and became Brenda.
Money continued to monitor the Reimer twins as they grew, and published papers on their progress using the pseudonyms John/Joan. The case was cited in medical textbooks and journal articles as evidence of the malleability of gender. And although Brenda Reimer was not an intersexual per se, her case lent support to the practice of gender reassignment in those patients.
But in 1997, Milton Diamond, a biologist at the University of Hawaii; and Keith Sigmundson, a psychiatrist who had treated Brenda Reimer, dropped a bombshell. They reported in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine that Brenda had rejected her assigned gender and exhibited boyish behavior throughout childhood and adolescence, even though she was not told the truth about her gender transformation until she was 14. After learning the truth, Brenda had reclaimed her male role, renaming herself David. 
David Reimer eventually had surgery to reconstruct a penis and to remove breasts that he had developed as a result of prescribed estrogen therapy, according to the book As Nature Made Him, by journalist John Colapinto (HarperCollins, 2000). Reimer now works in a slaughterhouse, is married, and has adopted his wife's three children. 
The fall-out for Money has been harsh. Several of his former colleagues told me that Money was a pioneer in the study of gender who advanced the science and clinical care of intersexuals, and helped to destigmatize their conditions. But they added that he also staked his career on a single experiment, and never acknowledged that he lost the gambit, with devastating consequences for Reimer. Money declined to be interviewed for this article, citing patient confidentiality.
A few years after William Reiner came to Hopkins to train in psychiatry, he began a collaboration with Hopkins's John P. Gearhart, who directs the Department of Pediatric Urology.
Gearhart's interest concerned patients with cloacal exstrophy, an extremely rare and severe birth defect that occurs once in only about 250,000 live births. Children with the condition are born with their bowel, bladder, and certain other organs exposed to the outside. Many suffer from serious spine problems and spend their lives in a wheelchair. Genetic males with the condition have testicles but no penis. Generally, these patients have been surgically castrated and raised as girls.

Genital Variations
Until about the sixth to seventh week of gestation, all embryos are outwardly female in appearance. Internally, all contain primitive structures for both male and female genitals. As time moves forward, genes on the X and Y chromosomes result in the differentiation of male and female sexes. But there are many variations on this theme, including the following:
Congenital adrenal hyperplasia: Enzyme deficiency causes the adrenal glands to produce excess androgens, a masculinizing hormone. Girls may have an enlarged clitoris and fused labia. Treatment reduces androgen levels. The most severe form is fatal if not treated. CAH is the most common cause of ambiguous genitals, occurring in an estimated one in 10,000 to 15,000 births.
Androgen insensitivity: Babies have XY chromosomes and testes, but due to a genetic mutation, their cells cannot respond to androgens. The result is external female genitals. At puberty, androgen insensitive girls do not spontaneously menstruate. In partial androgen insensitivity, cells partially respond to androgens, causing the development of ambiguous genitals. 
Gonadal dysgenesis: Baby has XY chromosomes but gonads are abnormally formed. External genitals are female. Internally, female structures develop. In partial gonadal dysgenesis, babies have XY chromosomes, and testes partially form. External genitals are ambiguous, and internal structures may be a combination of masculine and feminine.
Micropenis: External genitals are masculine, but penis is extremely underdeveloped, perhaps as a result of deficient androgens in later fetal development.
Klinefelter syndrome: Boys have an extra chromosome, or XXY karyotype. External genitals are masculine, but testes are often small. Breasts may develop at puberty. Masculine development, such as growth of the penis and facial hair, may be diminished. Sperm count may be low. Occurs in estimated one in 1,000 births.
Source: "Syndormes of Abnormal Sex Differentiation: A Guide for Patients and Their Families," The Johns Hopkins Children's Center. Intersex Society of North America. Sheri Berenbaum. 

Until relatively recently, many children with cloacal exstrophy did not survive past infancy. But their prognosis has greatly improved, thanks in large part to techniques developed by Gearhart and Robert Jeffs, Hopkins professor emeritus of pediatric urology. Patients were now living into adolescence and beyond, prompting Gearhart to ask how they were faring psychologically. He called Reiner, who agreed to begin assessing the psychological and sexual development of these patients. Kayla was one of them.
The results of these studies strongly suggest that sex reassignment failed. The first study included 18 patients treated at Hopkins for cloacal exstrophy and related conditions; two had been raised as boys, and 16 had been raised as girls. In a second study, Reiner evaluated 18 patients who had been treated outside of Hopkins and later referred to his clinic. All 18 had been reassigned as females. The patients in both groups were between the ages of 5 and 16.
Through an extensive eight-hour evaluation of each patient involving assessments of the patient's behavior and development, and a parent interview, Reiner found that the children who had been raised as girls displayed male-typical behavior. "They don't wear dresses," says Reiner. "They engage in rough and tumble play. They tend to fight with boys, using their wheelchairs as a weapon. If they have Barbies, they use them as though they were GI Joes, put them in cars and bash them." When the children were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, they chose male-dominated career roles such as an astronaut or race car driver. 
Those raised as girls, says Reiner, "had terrible genital self-esteem." The older children were not dating. "If you pin them down, they say they're attracted to girls. But it's not acceptable to them to be homosexual."
The psychological analysis also revealed that eight of the children were clinically depressed. Two had attempted suicide. In contrast, neither of the two patients who had been raised as boys had experienced these psychological problems. 
Twenty-two of the patients who were raised as girls have reassigned themselves as males.
"I'd advise that these kids should be assigned a gender. But they should be watched closely and seen regularly by medical professionals," says Reiner. "If at age 5, 6, or 7, they want to change gender, [they should be allowed to.]"
Continuing his study through a $780,000 grant from the National Institute of Mental Health, Reiner periodically counsels patients who have made the transition from girl to boy. He is sometimes called in to explain to schoolchildren how and why their classmate made that switch. The children, he has found, often tell him they already knew that their classmate was a boy. Says Reiner, "Kids often ask, 'How could the doctors ever make that mistake?'"

But not everyone within the medical community agrees that postponing cosmetic genital surgery should apply in all cases. 
At Hopkins, some standards have changed, says Gearhart. Today a child with micropenis is unlikely to undergo gender conversion, for instance. Surgeons are also more reluctant to perform surgery to reduce the size of a baby's clitoris. "We tend to let them grow into their clitoris," says Gearhart.
But genital reconstruction surgery on children with ambiguous genitals is generally not delayed, according to Gearhart. "I don't think that's a good thing," he says. "What are you going to tell the nanny? What bathroom are they going to use?"
Furthermore, few if any parents ever elect not to have surgery performed on such an infant, says Claude Migeon, an endocrinologist and professor of pediatrics who has cared for intersexual patients since 1950, when he came to Hopkins.
The mother of one of Migeon's patients, a 15-month-old girl who was born with ambiguous genitals, said she and her husband considered the option of putting off surgery until her daughter was old enough to make the decision herself, but in the end, she says, "it was beyond what we felt we could do." When their daughter was 5 months old, she underwent a procedure that involved transforming a phallus that resembled a penis into feminine genitals. "I put myself in my child's position and thought it would be easier socially for a child--going to the physician, taking gym class, whatever--to strive for as normal a life as any child could have," says the mother. "Someday she might come back and say, 'Why didn't you let me make the decision?'" But that was a risk she and her husband decided they had to take.
Migeon is currently conducting his own follow-up studies of patients with a number of manifestations of intersexuality. His study population includes 85 people ranging in age from 21 to the mid-60s. The patients have a variety of conditions including ambiguous genitals, micropenis, and androgen insensitivity, in which a woman has XY chromosomes but is genetically incapable of responding to male hormones. Some of the patients were assigned a gender that differed from their biological gender; for example, the group includes a half-dozen patients born with micropenis who were raised as women.
Preliminary analysis of the data, says Migeon, indicates that almost all of the patients are content with the gender in which they were raised. All but two showed a gender identity and gender role in accordance with their gender of rearing. 
The results would seem to contradict Reiner's findings, acknowledges Migeon's collaborator, psychologist Amy Wisniewski. But the two groups of patients are very different. Reiner's patients at birth were boys in every way, except for the lack of a penis. But hers and Migeon's are more complicated and were probably exposed to lower levels of male hormones in utero, meaning the distinct line between male or female is murkier. Further, unlike the children in Reiner's studies, theirs are adults. "Possibly our people by adulthood have come to accept their gender," says Wisniewski.
Other experts, like Sheri Berenbaum, a psychologist and professor of physiology at Southern Illinois University School of Medicine, agree that the unfolding gender story is a complicated one.
Berenbaum has spent the last 15 years studying girls with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH). This genetic disease causes the adrenal glands to produce excess androgens--the steroids that cause masculinization--a process that begins in the womb and can result in ambiguous genitals.
In a long-term study of 60 girls with CAH and their sisters who do not have CAH, Berenbaum found that CAH girls are more aggressive and more interested in male-typical activities, toys, and careers. They prefer working with engines to playing with makeup, for instance. Yet, the girls with CAH, who ranged in age from 3 to 18, were clearly female. They identified with girls and women and do not want to be boys.
One explanation for her findings, says Berenbaum, is that the children's brains have been exposed to enough androgen to result in male-typical behaviors but not enough to generate a male gender identity. But there are other theoretical possibilities, she says. One is that their parents, teachers and friends, who treated the children as girls, had significant input in shaping their gender identity, while androgen exposure influenced their gender role.
Concludes Berenbaum, "I think the story on gender identity has yet to be told."

Over the past decade, the diagnosis and treatment of genital disorders has advanced dramatically. When Migeon first arrived at Hopkins, serving as a fellow under renowned pediatric endocrinologist Lawson Wilkins, scientists had not even identified the X and Y sex chromosomes. In the following decades, they have developed and improved hormone assays and imaging techniques, which can be used to diagnose intersex conditions; pinpointed genes involved in sex differentiation; and developed new reconstructive techniques for fashioning a penis out of transplanted skin and muscle and a plastic stiffening rod.
So now, debating what to do with a case like John/Joan's is a moot point, says Hopkins's Gearhart. Today, a child who tragically loses his penis would be raised as a boy, and would undergo penile reconstruction surgery at age 10 to 15. "Nobody in the U.S. is going to change his gender," says Gearhart.
Because so much has changed, clinicians who have built careers on treating intersexuals advise against judging past events through "year 2000" glasses. "We look through the retrospectoscope and say, 'My God! How did we do that?'" says Mel Grumbach, a pediatric endocrinologist who was a fellow at Hopkins in the early 1950s and is now a professor emeritus at the University of California at San Francisco. "It's not fair. A lot has changed since then. We must learn from the advances that have been made rather than point fingers."

Specialists who care for intersex children are clearly grappling with the model of care issue, says Ian Aaronson, a urologist at the Medical University of South Carolina and founder of NATFI.
"There are presently two points of view," says Aaronson. "The first--do nothing, let patients assign themselves, no surgery--is held by psychiatrists who have had to deal with patients who have, in retrospect, been badly handled--John/Joan, for example. This is countered by many physicians who believe, all in all, their patients are doing quite well." 
NATFI plans to establish guidelines for the medical management of children born with ambiguous genitals but not until first completing multicenter follow-up studies of a range of intersex patients to determine their psychosexual and functional outcomes. Those studies should take about three years.
In summing up his own opinion, Aaronson may speak for many physicians in the field. "I have modified my views," he says, "from, 'I think they are doing OK' to, 'I am not sure, and am therefore going to find out.'"

Melissa Hendricks is the magazines senior science writer.


Thursday, July 23, 2026

FedEx: Operating Without Shame

 Your Valuables Are - Not "May Be", ARE - at risk.

#FedEx follies:
• 4/15: Bought a diamond ring on Amazon. Vendor: Diamond Wish, in LA
• Amazon said 4-7 days to deliver
• We went to Florida for the weekend
• Diamond Wish sent package Priority, via #FedEx
• 4/17: got text that delivery was attempted.
• 4/17: Mrs got text from neighborhood watch that someone is apparently casing houses; sheriff was called
• 4/18: get text that *I* SIGNED FOR THE PACKAGE. I am still in Florida. We pack to hurry home.
• 4/19: get home. Find message on answering machine from FedEx stating requirements to receive package: photo ID and signature from someone >21 years old. No one was there. Mrs gets on phone with "Cassandra", who said, "He does that." Got support ticket C-237410685 Ref-0149.
• 4/20: get email including "proof of delivery" which does not include required signature.
• 4/23: get email with "proof of delivery" with image including "my" signature. It's not.
• 4/28: unsatisfied with Augusta #FedEx depot CSR, contacted #FedEx national customer support. CSR "Elena" is unable to understand the spelling of my email address - eight lowercase letters before the @ - and actually says a *driver* will be out to my house. Supervisor "Fenrri" opens support ticket C-238550468 Ref-05594 to address why earlier support ticket C-237410685 Ref-0149 was closed without action. -468 is closed in 2 hours 19 minutes. #FedEx closes support tickets based on TIME, not on results, and nothing about their resolution came to us.
• 4/30: got email signed, "Asheta Billups 🌸Ops Coordinator 🌸SAUG249" which was almost pure fiction, claiming that Mrs spoke to a man "weeks ago", when the delivery failure was 12 days past - and that #FedEx drivers are independent contactors, a clear attempt to escape accountability. Our reply refutes her fantasies.
I will quote Ms Billups: "That said, your experience does not meet the standards we expected with the driver. I have requested that the manager follow up with you again to ensure your concerns are properly addressed."
They have not been.

All three pages offered as "proof of delivery" by the local depot call for "weekday delivery" - but the alleged delivery was on Saturday.
Just what does an "operations coordinator" DO if they cannot tell what day it is?
 
You who see this, be aware: CSRA #FedEx drivers will FORGE YOUR SIGNATURE at their convenience; their own operating REQUIREMENTS are unimportant to them.
Wondering: can I have a FedEx driver TRESPASSED, so I can have someone who understands WHY A VENDOR REQUIRES A REAL SIGNATURE?
 
This is the delivery truck, in my yard while I was in Lakeland, FL. 
 

 

Friday, October 4, 2024

Strip Clubs - What You Don't Know

You should know about this, no matter who you are.

There it is, that building people whisper about. Maybe the local church warns people about it. It'll have a name like, "Teasers", "Cheaters", "Lido's"... or the like.

It's a Strip Club™, where women (more so than men) pull their clothes off and do other things which are - gasp! - immoral!

Well, I have news for you. It wouldn't be in business at all if there wasn't a need.

Yes, a need. A real one.

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I am married, decisively so, to a woman who had licenses to perform on stage in Florida and Las Vegas. She's spent more time on the pole... than you have talking to your spouse about what matters.

Did you hear that?

You know. Your spouse? The ONE, from whom you must keep no secrets, hide nothing, tell everything so that you, your spouse and your family may proceed through life with success? ... that's why I'm posting this.

Why can you not tell him or her what you want - to be happy? I suggest that it is cowardice - and that you have been TAUGHT to be cowardly.

Think about this. You were built by a process no less grand than the one that burns four million tons of matter a second just to bring you sunlight - and you can't tell someone you swore you love what you need from them?

Well, you can't - or, you are reluctant such that the process is painful somehow -- and so the Strip Club™ will appear to offer a solution.

So. My Girl™ has made a few observations about this that might do you a LOT of good.

Before I get into that, let me describe how the club operates in most cases.
It has an opening time and a closing time. Each performer or dancer who wishes to take the stage or make money from the patrons must rent their time indoors by the hour. They must pay the DJ to play the song(s) they dance to; these are selected by a look at the audience to maximize appeal. The audience changes by the hour and the day of the week.
There will be a manager of the performers, since a club might have so many girls show up that there's not enough time for all of them to take the stage. There might be a "house mouse", someone who performs who is trusted by management to fix problems before they occur; yes, some of the dancers might abuse drugs and/or alcohol, and not perform well for the Club.
After performing, a dancer must pay a bouncer to escort her to the car / off the premises. This protects them and the club from people deranged by sexual urges or expectations gained from outside as well as inside the club. Often, this is the law.
Tip: the offensive customer, if not physically broken by a bouncer who is typically very serious about protecting the girls, will be dusted with glitter. This will show someone at home where he has been, and there will be judgment.

OK, observations!

First: men are not women. That might be a surprise, especially if you believe the garbage "modern" social media spews. Not only are men often aggressive beyond belief, sometimes at the house they are protective beyond belief: they won't even tell you they would be excited, and even feel more trusted by an aggressive sexual move that you initiate, because they exist to protect you.
You know that many men have a code of conduct that prohibits them from talking about problems.
You must express clearly
that you desire them, by actions, not words - AND you must be aggressive in maintaining their health!
They won't show it, but when you show you want them, your spouse becomes more valuable to themselves and more capable. They can meet more challenges!
Thus, a conversation with a 1%-er, a goddess with an apparently infinite choice of companions, can be fundamentally reassuring: She might say, "Phil, I know *I* would want to know. You can tell her."*
If your guy is worth keeping, he can go to a club and not embarrass, much less betray you. This might be a good litmus test for you both. IF you have a real keeper, he will take you to the club and introduce you. Shocker!

Second: you are being held back by social pressure that doesn't give a damn about you. Religious restrictions have insisted that you have no experience of sex whatsoever until you are betrothed, ignoring the immense pressure society has come to bring as well as the urges themselves - built by the same deity the faithful pretend to obey. In fact, delaying instant gratification has immense rewards, but these are not taught by an increasingly unguided society, which has come to support bad decisions, even with tax money; those poor stupid people couldn't help but do what we told them not to do every hour or so, because we showed them something completely different: do what you want. Now.
Admire the athlete, baby-daddy to three kids with his girlfriend! Admire the single mother, such motherhood being the #1 indicator of criminality wherever it is found. Social pressure!
Here is Reasoning Deficit Disorder: we talk about commitment while doing everything to prevent it.

Third: the girls at the club have vastly different reasons for being there. Some want easy access to sex, like a fair number of patrons. Notice I'm not pretending otherwise? It's actually the same at every bar in America: women go to bars for exactly the same reasons men do.
Others enjoy the control they have as they provide actual comfort - or services you didn't know about. The very real company of someone to talk to, who is also a beautiful person with relevant experience.
Can you name another venue from which you can obtain a professional date for a business meeting that won't be embarassing and won't bring baggage and opinions?
Yes, a business meeting. Where the presence of a beautiful woman actually means high status and capabilities. A family member is poisonous to business negotiations because their being there dilutes responsibility and authority. Yes, other people at this meeting must shut up and display their subservience to the alpha negotiator.

Fourth: the club itself strips away pretenses. Everyone there knows that "being a good person" doesn't rank #1 in real life. Symmetry of form, healthy hair, clear skin and bright teeth mean the best outcome from seeking the company of someone you see. Nobody ever saw an "O My Gawd" beautiful woman or buff guy and thought, "I'd like to treat that equally!"
The wise will notice which of these is serious and honest about their work, knowing how to show that they, themselves know the difference between a disposable sexpot and a continuous companion.

People want comfort, honesty be damned; as they profess to hate the existence of The Strip Club™, they will eagerly reach for the issue of Cosmo that tells how to make your partner shiver. In Bible™ study, they'll stop the story of the adultress at "he who cast the first stone" rather than reach the end: "go, and sin no more". 

Even though the word of Jesus should have stunned the adultress.


Get the point. Act with honesty. It applies to your private life, too. That Club is no threat at all to any person who has a clear view of themselves, their needs and their company, and you will find that it makes a wonderful example of something you can do together to improve communication. You are real, and you should be able to show that.

------------------------------

* - here's the way a professional and friendly relationship appears at a "strip club":
Tom walks in. He gets a beer and a snack to sit back and watch the show. He's not cheap; this isn't McDonald's. He's confident about himself, not a giggling teen or deluded beer-hound in a wife-beater. Several girls stop by to engage in conversation. This might be embarrassing - on purpose. The girls are trying to get him to loosen up. In an hour, the girls have figured out what he wants is not to be teased or even touched, at least not today; they have an idea who his favorite is already (no successful stripper misses a personal cue, and they watch each other with the guy). His favorite comes back, and Tom puts $$ on the table and/orders a snack as well as a drink for the dancer. He must show class to get continuous attention, and that is not just money.
A girl's income is strictly up to her at the strip club. She can make a thousand dollars a night - I am not kidding - if she is very good, and smart with the regulars and the occasional party guys; she'll have an arrangement with her favorite bouncer to step in if she needs him. She won't, with this guy Tom, and after a few minutes she signals to the bouncer he can chill. She's interested in this guy.
Tom tells her as much about his life and/or business as he wants. Being a good listener is ridiculously profitable because nobody else will do that, even at his home. Didja catch that?
Tom has a business. The entire time - and, believe it or not, some guys can get over an O-My-Gawd™ at arm's length wearing nearly nothing - Tom has been figuring out what this girl is worth.
As it turns out, quite a lot this time. Nobody has ever diminished themselves dancing at a strip club. If you think about this, you'll see that there are people behaving abominably in your own neighborhood.
After a few hours, Tom finds he can use this girl on his elbow exactly as was shown in "Pretty Woman". How?

He can show that his thinking is not clouded in her presence.

Yes, it is entirely possible she can quit her job to be his girl.

At no time is the venture more or less risky for Tom than his date for Homecoming ten years ago.
He goes home to think more about life. He'll be back every time he finds no one will listen to him - and occasionally, to see how his favorite(s) is/are doing.

In the end, whether Tom finds a business or personal relationship with the dancer he favors, the choice is entirely his, in an environment where everyone knows what sex is, what it is for, and what it can and cannot do. Even if they forget now and then. It's powerful stuff.

Around him, carnival marks guffaw and goggle, unable to even process the idea that women actually look like that! They're not getting as far as Tom, who knows, in his heart, that in order to enjoy someone wonderful, you must be wonderful, yourself!

Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Why Donald Trump Is Still Here

 It Appears You Have No Idea

This is not a reference - it is just a place to hold frequently-cited points. Sorry.
You have probably noticed that Donald Trump has supporters who are loud, proud and do not care what you think of him, STILL. I think you may have forgotten, or not realized why that is, despite the clue stick bruising you by this point. 

So, here are some reasons. You'll notice that most are things he DIDN'T do. That's because Trump fans want government to stop any and all crap they're doing, and if the guy who will do that is an ass in some way, that's OK. Democrats never seem to care about their guy's character, anyway... 

They apparently have no interest in Kamala Harris' or Tim Walz' record. None. Try asking.

Anyway:

• He's not a career politician. Why is this important? Because the vast majority of problems seen by working Americans have come from government. Although many of the problems were not caused by a President, any President is associated with the Congress who DOES produce those problems, even if they are not the same party. It's not even just Democrats to blame for this;
career Republicans suck, too. Did you notice that Teh Donald was the ONLY candidate with an (R) who was at all different?
• He has run multiple businesses and made payroll. If you seek to yell about bankruptcies, have you noticed that those occur in courts, and he has been in business for decades?
• His Vice President did not: a) seek to allow falsified evidence at trial, and b) try to extend the prison sentences of black Americans for their labor. Harris did, as AG of CA.
• He didn't lie about Obamacare, repeatedly, as it put tens of millions of Americans out of full-time jobs and kept them there - and medical facilities are still closing.
• He didn't violate Federal law by modifying the terms of Obamacare outside the legislative process.
• He didn't claim loudly that "you didn't build that!" when talking about your life's work.
• It's obvious where he got his money (mostly inheritance). Where did your candidate get theirs?
• He told Chicago police that they could solve their crime problem if they were only allowed to. Well, that was embarrassing. Why would you think otherwise? Do you think race is a free pass, or should be? Would you if it was your business being looted, shot up, burned down?
• He didn't put "diversity" over competency in selecting staff positions, or in the armed forces where such individuals would require constant and radical medication - or think about themselves rather than their military unit - while in operational positions capable of killing thousands of people.
• He didn't party at Epstein Island; it is obvious that those who did are still at large, but career pols, and not to be pursued. Strangely, claims otherwise are taking a decade to appear, even as they would have ended his 2016 and all other runs for office.
• He didn't allow American cities to be burned, as one current VP candidate did, by an organization that did nothing but enrich themselves as they destroyed the property of American workers - and parts of Washington, DC ("Mostly peaceful", my ass). This cemented the idea that "news" was nothing of the sort, never to be trusted - and that the current Administration was not going to protect the citizens.
• He was the target of "news" that was clearly false. So were others, but this is about DJT.
• He didn't call half of Americans "deplorable" or claim they were bitter, clinging to their guns and religion, or call them "trash".
• He didn't trade captured senior terrorists for a deserter.
• He didn't trade an international criminal for a basketball player who could not read Russian laws about drug possession.
• The targeting of his candidacy and his supporters was obvious and continuous, continually raising the question, "What the hell is wrong with making America great?"
• He didn't lead or encourage "an insurrection" of any kind. A cast of liars ignored the Capitol police guiding people into the building, where those people largely took selfies. Think not? There is video, and in a wonderful "tell", the Jan 6 commission actually published that they were seeking the officers who did that. Not fiction.
• He didn't decide to hide manipulation of the free market by telling banks to deny assets to unfavored professions, called "Operation Choke Point".
• He didn't let an American ambassador die in Libya with no consequences, while lying to shift blame.
• He didn't claim ignorance of US cybersecurity law while in an office required to acknowledge it - or claim that the law didn't apply.
• He wasn't involved in the conspiracy to violate 8USC1082, to open the border or keep it open to give American resources to illegals. Although he did fail to deliver on the promise to close the border, he could point to obstruction.
• He didn't abandon billions of dollars of taxpayer property - military equipment! - leaving the Middle East, in a manner that also got 13 Americans killed.
• His people didn't invent the practice of groping toddlers because their parents want to fly on an airplane.
• His conservative supporters are keenly aware that they are shouted down by other "adults", who aged without maturing, intent on preventing free speech because it may prove their position worthless.
• His Attorneys General didn't have to take the 5th Amendment talking to Congress, nor did he engage in the gun-running of "fast & furious".
• His people didn't bugger the 2020 election; Michigan waited 4 months, then dumped 177,000 people off their rolls. Not fiction.
• He didn't have to pardon his own son - for crimes not only known, but for unknown crimes during an 11-year period.
• His people haven't presided over increases in some costs of over 50% due to just 4 years of inflation.
• He divested himself of controls of his money while in office - while Ms Pelosi and others apparently engage in insider trading the very same day legislation they favor becomes law.
• His Inauguration featured a stroll afterwards down the street. The Biden Inauguration featured razor wire and thousands of troops against an attack that wasn't planned and was incredible from the start. The Public? Screw them, they can't be trusted to see Mr. Biden swear in.
You can't be trusted.
• His people didn't put cocaine in the White House. Isn't this a hint the people in there aren't interested in your country?
• He didn't expend FEMA dollars on immigrants at the expense of taxpayers needing help because of hurricane Helena.
• He didn't hide the fact that the Presidency was occupied by a man who cannot form coherent sentences.
• He didn't put Tulsi Gabbard on a TSA alert list to restrict her movement.
• He didn't make fraud, waste and abuse integral to American governmental operation.

ALL of these things are the product of career politicians. ALL Americans have a right to expect better service than they are getting, even as they don't usually act. Yet we see repeatedly that a person who advocates for Trump may be physically attacked, or their property damaged, by someone, and that someone is often a gibbering mess, hysterical and incoherent. Why? Who might that be?

Now, you might want to talk about a trial. Do you not recognize that Stormy was in the news years ago? Want to talk about Epstein, dead, and Ghislane Maxwell in jail? For what, now? With whom?
It is a simple thing for the average citizen to blow this off, to look at the unending harassment of Trump and everybody with a red hat and say, "I don't care. Trump is better than any of that... filth."

Can you seriously speak of the law, given the transgressions of the Biden family, Kamala Harris as California AG and their handlers? For years, government officials have done what they pleased, convinced and then proven right that there are no consequences for them. Think about this: while Teh Donald was with Stormy, somebody in government office was diddling children provided by Epstein. Who do you support now?

Now, notice what the Democratic Party did with respect to primaries, and tell me that doesn't reek.
Because the ventriloquist doesn't retire his puppet until its usefulness has passed. If you wanna heave when you hear, "Trump", you might think why it is...

... that you're on the side of shooters.

-----

A good friend of sound mind and many skills has likened current US politics to those in Europe, specifically Germany, prior to WW2. I get that - but who are we talking about? Is it:
• The party supporting the burning of American cities for financial gain?
• Those who support the sterilization of children, debunked ~30 years ago?
• The President inaugurated behind razor wire and troops?
• Those in political office who directly forbade the exercise of the 1st Amendment, citing the COVID-19 virus, even to the point of arresting people for being alone -- while ignoring those restrictions, themselves?
• The candidate advanced by her party without a single primary vote, with a history of civil rights violations as a matter of record?
• American cities being held by criminality, such that a wrong turn in dozens of them would get you killed?
• Teachers' unions acting to remove parents from education, even as they lose competency and the quality of education declines?
• Insider trading on the part of the Speaker of the House and several others in Congress?
• The loss of millions of full-time jobs because of health care legislation?
• The appearance and disappearance of millions of voters between 2016, 2020, and 2024?

Politics is always a compromise - but why must we choose between "lesser evils"?

It IS a risk that a public tired to death of being told they must care for minor issues and tolerate crime will allow ANYTHING that seems likely to fix it - and that public is also tired of being told things cannot be fixed. It is their livlihood being destroyed. It is their laws being violated - and every new crime is said to be their fault, not the criminal's, so they have more requirements, not the criminal.

Why are their elected officials NOT fixing this before a wild card arrives?

I'm registered "Unaffliated". I don't want to have to select the lesser evil, or deal with braying and whining about slights both real and imagined. I want candidates who have a service record we know about and can be proud of. I don't see one, but I know that I can't find many in the political profession today - and I know that all this time, the career pol has been flagrantly avoiding the oath of office his/her whole career while backed by two Administrations, at least. Notice once again, or maybe for the first time, that this is not only about Mr. Trump.
That's the clue stick again. Take it!

Thursday, November 23, 2023

How You Lost The United States of America

You have. How? Wait for it…

I have a friend whose sister is an elementary school teacher. She had difficulty with one of her second-grade students, in that he would untie his shoes several times a day, but couldn’t tie them again; he would whine about their being untied incessantly until she tied them for him. So, at a scheduled meeting with his mother, she mentioned that the tyke needed to learn to tie his shoes. The response?

 “That yo job.”

That is a quote. And an example, for she was in no way alone in that opinion.

Nationwide, Americans think it is "someone else’s" job… to do everything. This is well acknowledged. Nearly everyone has a story about someone they know, wanting, even expecting special treatment from others at some time.

But there is a second aspect, invisible and truly horrible. 

_____________________

The average American – by extension, you – decided you would assign the entire job of “education” to teachers, even aiding and abetting the absolute myth that teachers are nobles, of special status if not divine.

Here are problems, giant ones:

• Parents lose respect in their own home as they claim apathy and ignorance every time their children ask a question
• The teaching profession has evolved into a political entity with no personal experience other than… attending school.

More than half of the instruction, training, and education previous generations received is now gone.


_____________________ 


Almost nothing is learned from family, as arguments about “education” revolve around testing and money. The teaching profession takes an adversarial position to parental involvement, which somehow has turned into a battle for “self-esteem” which somehow has become disconnected with either aptitude or achievement. Kids don’t learn anything substantive? Ignore that. Make sure they feel OK about it, instead. Be hostile to those who insist that your judgment is suspect.


How did you lose the United States of America? By wanting nothing whatsoever to do with maintaining it. For wanting to avoid judgment of people you knew in your heart were wrong, foolish or evil, because that was not only unpleasant but would expose your inactivity, your uselessness in matters of ethical import. You seized on the idea, "Judge not, lest ye be judged" at once, utterly fearful of Jesus' command at the real end of that story: "Go, and sin no more!"
You have never noticed that the founders of this country set up a system depending on you.

 

In all aspects of American society.
Including family. Which you’re teaching to be selfish and entitled.
I’m sure you’re a wonderful person, otherwise.


So you get a “participant” trophy, too.